Bumper stickers:

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

http://www.ahajokes.com